#TBT of Epic Proportions

Woo doggies! My original plan was to jump into the Charleston and Confederate flag fray and tell y’all about my experience working right off the capitol building back in 2000 when we were having this debate the last time.

Turns out I must have done that already, because this was the only picture I could find. There weren’t as many people there as I remembered. I hope there are even less of them this time.

Confederate Flag Protests 2000

(Pay no attention to the ’94 at the bottom of the image. This was back when we had actual film and I could never get the date right on that camera…)

So instead of telling the story of why I didn’t get a date in college because I was a Yankee, let’s look at all the other reasons I was not the pick of the litter in my teens and twenties.

First up, we have this sweet-smelling memory from cheerleading camp. Please meet Fred. Fred wore Joop, that department store cologne that still stops me in my tracks. I’m glad to see he’s just as pretty as I remembered. WTH is going on with my chipmunk cheeks though??

Let’s also note the fold in the picture where I must have tried to crop Nikki out. 15-year-old girls are fun.

Fred and The Introduction to the Good Smelling Man

Next up let’s go to a table at Denny’s. Yes, if it was midnight on a Friday, you were bound to find my high school friends and I at a Denny’s. Probably after cruising. Probably eating a bunch. Probably being goofy. We went through a phase where we tried to perfect our own version of American Gothic. This one is pretty good. Man, we were idiots.

Milwaukee Gothic

Then, let’s cross over from high school to college (and/or my career in real estate.) First, we have one of my Glamour Shots images. My whole JV cheerleading squad got these pictures done. I had an 11 X 17 of me in my cheerleading uniform up in Southridge Mall for a few months. It’s still in my basement if you want to see. Hey, I don’t have many brushes with fame, so I had to keep proof.

And then there’s Amber and I doing our professional wrestler stances. Good Christ.

Glamour Shots

Somewhere in this general time frame, mom had a hip replacement surgery right around Thanksgiving, so I got to take the reins. Let’s note a few things.

1. I loved that shirt. I wish I still had that shirt.

2. See that TV screen? There is a big old regular TV directly out from the direction I am facing. Why there was a TV wasting counterspace is beyond me.

3. Huh. Looks like I did do dark hair before.

4. Food – it was meant to be.

First Thanksgiving

Speaking of meant to be, check out teenage Noah. He’s all ears and legs in this picture. Even he had an awkward phase!

Teenage CorgiI think that’s enough embarrassment for one post. Enjoy!

Keeping Up With the Crazy Dreams

Last night I had a very specific dream about Joel McHale. No, not that kind of a dream. Just a weirdly detailed one. Read on for more…

I’ve never given the actor much thought, but turns out my subconscious has a big, honking crush on the dude. I blame this Aisha Tyler interview.

Well, and this. I mean, he’s not the ugliest girl at the party.

Joel McHale - He ain't bad to look at.

In my dream, it was back in the pre-Randy days when I was still searching for the half to make me whole (or some other stressful nonsense.) For some reason I was in LA at a conference. (Because history.) At this conference we were talking about food (because always) and Mr. McHale presented a batch of profiteroles with chocolate ice cream which he was now his thing. (This is my dream. Of course my dream makes a comedian also sell a dessert cookbook.) I became wowed by the dessert and the man behind it and because of that decided I wanted to marry him. Yep. I didn’t care about what stood in my way – he is famous, I am not. He lives on the west coast, I’m a midwest girl. He’s married with kids and I wasn’t. I didn’t care. I wanted to have that life and that dude and I WANTED IT NOW. In the dream, we flirted-slash-discussed how to get that dough right (it’s one I can’t do in real life…) while I fretted about HOW CAN I MAKE THIS HAPPEN?!?!

I woke up at this point and for a solid three minutes, I thought I was 24, had met this famous guy, and stood a chance at being his wife. Honestly, the thing I was fixated on was how weird we’d look on the red carpet since dude is like a foot and a half taller than me.

When the alarm went off, my mind immediately jumped into it’s normal racing mode.

What the heck did that dream mean!?

I must hurry and get dressed to get this run in!

What will we eat today?*

I hope Kelly was OK with the email last night. Are we going to partner? Am I going to do this thing alone? What is “this thing” anyway? How much money do I want to make? How many hours do I want to work? Ok, I want to earn that much in that amount of time. How can I make that happen ASAP? Who wants me to work for them? How do I sell myself (or the joint business?!?)? I need to get the other web site up and running so I have a portfolio!! I have that interview at 8:20. I need to make sure the new site is ready ASAP so I can post the interview in a timely fashion on said portfolio! Must do it all today!!

So there you go. In fact, my dream wasn’t telling me that I wanted to go after the famous guy (though I do think if someone were going to play Randy in a movie, it would be him). Instead, I know (sort of) what I want the next professional step to be and I WANT IT RIGHT NOW! I just don’t know how. Nor do I think it will come easier than going back in time to meet someone super famous and becoming arm candy.


I’ll try to cool my jets. And maybe try the profiterole dough again. Every step forward is in the right direction, right?

Do you have any dreams that spur you into action?


Summer Evening Meditation – Get What You Need

It’s been awhile since I’ve discussed anything yoga-ish, so here’s a quick one. It’s more an exercise for you than a long story from me. I had a pretty crappy day yesterday, so this morning, in an effort to sluff it off, I went for a “wog” (thanks, Pablo). Music and sun inspired me to a better day today. Hopefully it can work for you, too. Enjoy.

Easy Backyard Meditation

Step 1:

Find a comfortable seat. I’d suggest something outside. Bonus if you can lay down in the grass and really feel your surroundings.

Step 2:

Close your eyes. Take a couple deep breaths. Feel the wind. Feel the sun. Feel your spine.

Step 3:

Need some focus? Click here. Turn up the volume. Lay back. Close the eyes again. Take it in.

If you’ve had a bad day, or a good day for that matter, this will hit home. Sure works for me.

Namaste, rock n’ rollers!