As I write this, it is 5:04am. It’s been four days since Eggroll’s due date and we’ve got four more days until our induction deadline. My body has yet to show any of the typical signs of impending birth, but I’ll tell you one thing – the good pregnancy hormones are gone!
If you have time to read nothing further, let me just share these few words of wisdom with you…
They should bottle this shit.
Two days ago, I got my first zit since last June. Oh, and it’s a doozy – right above my top lip, ensuring it will be in all the initial Eggroll pictures.
And let’s not forget I’m writing this before the rooster crows and that was only after an hour of being awake in bed. Harumph.
I would take a face sponsored by Teenage Maggie and the erratic sleep of a new mom (hey, good thing…) if I didn’t have to face the emotional highs and lows that I’ve been able to bypass these last several months. Alas, I’m strapped in, fully expecting the worst (and for that matter the best…).
I have had outbursts of tears over the most ridiculous things (damn you, Olympics commercials!), fits of jealousy for no real reason (damn you, Julia Mancuso for having what sounds like the most amazing life. Seriously, who gets to live in Hawaii surfing and doing yoga half of the year and traveling the world skiing the other half? All while being the most beautiful woman in the world, mind you!?), and moments of pure, unadulterated happiness that make my heart soar. (I will not damn you, Noah for sleeping under the curtains… It makes me happy whenever you decide to join us at night and it makes me LOL when you use the curtains as a sheet. You know how to make your mama smile, don’t you?)
The worst part of finally losing my hormonal high is that worry is back. Somehow I’ve NOT spent the last nine months thinking about all the things that could be wrong with Eggroll, but over the last 48 hours I think I’ve covered all the basics. There’s just enough of this natural narcotic left in my system that I’ve met each potential disease or disfigurement with a positive “medicine is always improving… She will be my baby no matter what… blah, blah, blah”, so all is not lost, but still… Whew.
On the plus side, with deep valleys, come high peaks. I know already that the moment Eggroll is put into my arms will be the best of my life, followed by every day that comes after it. When I took anxiety medicine in college, it helped overall, but it left me in a cloud when it came to the good stuff, too. I guess I’m glad I won’t have a fog to look through onto Eggroll’s first smile, day of school, etc.
But if anything is going to get me to see a naturopath (or witch doctor… I really don’t care who provides it!), it’s going to be the post-pregnancy hunt for this sensation.
I’ll miss you good skin and sensible mind frame. I don’t think I’ll get pregnant just to see you again, but that will be a nice bonus. Keep up the good work with others until then!