Randy gets home from work around 5. He starts Eggroll’s going-to-bed process at 8:30. On Tuesdays, I teach at 6:45. On Wednesdays, he has softball at 6. On Thursdays, he has volleyball some time during the evening. Needless to say, we don’t see each other much during the week.
When we do see each other it is to sit on the couch, eating dinner while one of us holds Malorie and the other gets up early to clean the kitchen. Both of us (three of us, actually…girlfriend is a fan!) will watch the Brewers game while one also plays on his phone and the other reads a magazine before folding the laundry.
What’s missing there? A lot, actually. Communication. Dialogue. Tasting the food. Enjoying the game. Interacting with our daughter. Interacting with each other. In short, our weeknights suck. My bar is set so low, I now just look at them as a time I can hand off Malorie and just sit quietly. If I happen to hear how Randy’s day was or tell him about my newest shiny object, that’s just a bonus.
Before I was pregnant (perhaps even before I was married), I had friends tell me that they hadn’t gone out on a real date since before their kids were born. This baffled me. Why wouldn’t people need that time one-on-one, let alone want it? Who wouldn’t want to go to a real restaurant or see a movie while the little ones were safely in someone else’s care?
Enter life now.
I couldn’t agree with myself more.
If anything, I think I’m an even firmer believer that you MUST get away from the house and responsibilities and spend time with your significant other. I even made a goal on my 2014 strategic plan to go on at least 12 dates with Randy. So far, we have gone out four times, including before baby. Seeing as we are in month six, we’ve got some work to do!
This last Saturday, Randy and I had a day date where we toured around Milwaukee’s Walker’s Point neighborhood trying out the local establishments on a food tour. The food was great, sure, but even more importantly – we talked! We talked about what we were eating and where we want to vacation and what’s going on in the world. Malorie came up once or twice, but it was to fondly laugh at something she had done vs. negotiating who’s cleaning her dirty diaper and when she next needs to be fed.
That date will get us through at least a week or two of weeknights when we don’t really interact. Or so I hope. Things will have to change once Eggroll is eating dinner with us. We will sit at a table then, so we’ll talk more, right?!?
Golly, being a parent and a wife is hard.