*** “You’re welcome” to all of my readers with delicate sensibilities. We all know what I really wanted to entitle this post. ***
Me? Turns out I talk a big game, but fail to truly document results. I’m guilty of thinking up grand goals, but when it comes to writing down how I actually did, I might fudge a little (or a lot!) here and there.
I’m sure this is a shocker to no one, but I also don’t think I’m alone. We get into these habits we think are healthy (challenging yoga poses, eating a morning smoothie, giving that toxic friend one more chance…) without realizing that as we do them on auto-pilot, they are no longer serving our needs. (Your 50-year-old knees just shouldn’t try eagle pose anymore. Take a look at that smoothie. What was once a banana, chia seeds and ice cube concoction has become a peanut butter and cocoa powder gut bomb. That friend just isn’t going to wake up and treat you better. It’s time to let her go.)
Or maybe we’re not on autopilot. We are aware of the situation, but thought we had it under control. Hopefully this exercise has taught you what is controlling you vs the other way around. This leads me to my guidance for this week:
When dealing with an addict, you learn that the person has to want it themselves. No one else will get them to change. The same goes for you and your subconscious. If there is any part of your being that doesn’t care enough to make the big (or little) life change that the rest of you thinks is necessary, it’s just not going to happen.
Let’s look at it this way.
Pretend your ego is in fact the five students in detention in The Breakfast Club. You’ve got the jock who wants to be marathon-running healthy. The popular girl who wants to please everyone. The nerd who wants to be the smartest in everything. The bad-ass who wants to look cool. And the basketcase who just wants to eat Pixie Stix and Cap’n Crunch sandwiches, clean eating challenge be damned.
As we learned in this top 10 movie of all time, that’s a lot of personalities to carry on your shoulders all day, every day, nevermind a Saturday in detention. But you do. And when any one of your multiple personalities disagrees with the rest of the population, it makes achieving a goal very difficult.
So what do you do?
Beat it into submission or let it go.
I know I’m already making you feel crazy for having multiple personalities knocking around in your noggin, so let’s be clear I’m not suggesting bodily harm. Instead, I think you need to decide if all the edges of your personality are serving you well or if your need to shed a part of your character.
Let me use myself as an example. Obviously, food is my issue. I like to eat. A lot. I start each Monday saying, “ok, this is the week! Cutting back on desserts and loading up on kale. This will be great.” And then by Tuesday I’m sneaking little corners of chocolate products and going hungry instead of eating another blasted salad. The following Monday morning comes around and … I’ve gained back another pound. %$*%^*^!!!
So what do I do with the part of me that says “food is too important”, “food makes me happy”, I’m really not that unhappy with how I look, I just don’t like the numbers on the scale”? My options are:
1. I put this part of my personality on a shelf until I get my weight to where I want it to be. I understand that food CAN be an important part of my being, but it doesn’t have to be ALL of my being. I can come back to the habit once I have learned how to control myself better.
2. I come to terms with the new weight. I realize I might not ever be a runway model and find peace with that. Or if not peace, at least pants that fit me at this size.
It’s as relatively simple as that. I need to shit or get off the pot. (Ah, nuts! Sorry friends, but I just couldn’t let that analogy go!) Either say I’ve got to do what I set out to do or decide it is not that important to me.
No matter what your issue, you can do the same.
- Knees hurt after yoga? Back off the Warrior IIs or invest in some Deep Blue
- A-hole friend not treating you any better? Try another sit down or delete her number.
- Need to get more sleep? Turn off the TV before The Daily Show starts or stick around for Colbert, too and invest in a Keurig coffee maker.
- Work beating you down? Polish up the resume and actually send it out this time or find a calming meditation app for your drive to and from the hellhole.
- Still not able to jog around the block? Just do it. Or don’t, but let it go.
It’s all for you to decide. It’s that simple.