Woo doggies! My original plan was to jump into the Charleston and Confederate flag fray and tell y’all about my experience working right off the capitol building back in 2000 when we were having this debate the last time.
Turns out I must have done that already, because this was the only picture I could find. There weren’t as many people there as I remembered. I hope there are even less of them this time.
(Pay no attention to the ’94 at the bottom of the image. This was back when we had actual film and I could never get the date right on that camera…)
So instead of telling the story of why I didn’t get a date in college because I was a Yankee, let’s look at all the other reasons I was not the pick of the litter in my teens and twenties.
First up, we have this sweet-smelling memory from cheerleading camp. Please meet Fred. Fred wore Joop, that department store cologne that still stops me in my tracks. I’m glad to see he’s just as pretty as I remembered. WTH is going on with my chipmunk cheeks though??
Let’s also note the fold in the picture where I must have tried to crop Nikki out. 15-year-old girls are fun.
Next up let’s go to a table at Denny’s. Yes, if it was midnight on a Friday, you were bound to find my high school friends and I at a Denny’s. Probably after cruising. Probably eating a bunch. Probably being goofy. We went through a phase where we tried to perfect our own version of American Gothic. This one is pretty good. Man, we were idiots.
Then, let’s cross over from high school to college (and/or my career in real estate.) First, we have one of my Glamour Shots images. My whole JV cheerleading squad got these pictures done. I had an 11 X 17 of me in my cheerleading uniform up in Southridge Mall for a few months. It’s still in my basement if you want to see. Hey, I don’t have many brushes with fame, so I had to keep proof.
And then there’s Amber and I doing our professional wrestler stances. Good Christ.
Somewhere in this general time frame, mom had a hip replacement surgery right around Thanksgiving, so I got to take the reins. Let’s note a few things.
1. I loved that shirt. I wish I still had that shirt.
2. See that TV screen? There is a big old regular TV directly out from the direction I am facing. Why there was a TV wasting counterspace is beyond me.
3. Huh. Looks like I did do dark hair before.
4. Food – it was meant to be.
Speaking of meant to be, check out teenage Noah. He’s all ears and legs in this picture. Even he had an awkward phase!