Today’s post comes from a girlfriend, Kristin Reed. I first met Kristin at one of my (un)forgettable jobs where we were two of the few young professionals. This business didn’t really promote interdepartmental friendships, so I think it’s more the beauty of Facebook that I can thank for keeping Kristin in my life.
Kristin and her family decided to make a big life change last year – they moved from Wisconsin to California. As I said, I’m only at the social media-level of friendship so I don’t know the intricacies of that decision-making process, but from the pictures it sure looks like they made a change for the better! Now I just need to go visit while it’s still so cold here.
Per our month’s focus, Kristin has some advice for her 23-year-old self and all of you that are at or approaching 23 yourself these days. Listen up, selves! Even if you’re not a young pup anymore, I think there are a lot of great reminders for all of us.
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Being 41 years old is awesome. It isn’t scary. It doesn’t feel as far away as its double-distance from my 20’s. It isn’t filled with conversations about bodily functions. It isn’t marked only by wrinkles, silver streaks, sneaky hip curves, and AARP mail. No, 41 is none of those things. It is a point where I feel like I have “come to be”, where I can proudly reflect back on the first half of my life: the good, the bad, the ugly, the forgettable, and the unforgettable (some which should be in the former’s group), and dream about the next half-and-more of my life.
As I reflect back, I think about what I might tell my 23-year-old self about our life. (Why 23? Random number and easy to remember calendar year.) How would I encourage her to dream about 41? 75? 90? Death? What advice would I give? What stories would I want to tell? What stories would I want to forget? What is the one most important life lesson that I want her to remember?
My 23-year-old, nearly sans-boyfriend (it’s a long story…), working-with-some-college-education-self lived in a trendy section of Milwaukee, WI. It was the year 1995. Yep, way back then. Certainly before I truly learned who I wanted to be. Before the iPhone. Before Google. Before Monica Lewinsky. Before mom jeans were banished, finally. Before Y2K. Before cupcakes and coffee were fashionable “anytime” treats. Before yoga was practiced by the masses. The year the Internet and Yahoo! came to be (no, I didn’t invent it). The year the Dow Jones Industrial Average first surpassed two millennium marks in a single year (in an upward direction). The year we learned to fear terrorism on our own soil. The year Sarajevo was filled with horror and death. The year my generation’s Superman lost his power of mobility. The year The People’s Princess gained her power to leave the royals. The year Toy Story and Pixar made history. The year “if it doesn’t fit, you must acquit” came to be. The year… I could go on and on, but lucky for you I don’t have to.
Whew, what a year it was. If my 23-year-old self could only grasp how much the world would change in the next 18 years. So, in 2032, I wonder what my 59-year-old self will say as “Before…” statements!
So, Ms. 23, here’s what I think you should remember while you’re creating who you want to be:
- Be curious. I believe curiosity stretches your imagination, your personality, and your outlook on life.
- Be compassionately opinionated. Speak your beliefs. Speak your mind, but be filtered when appropriate. Your opinion counts. You know everything, I know! Give others space for their beliefs and hope that they return the respect. If not, model that respect. Oh, guess what? Your opinions and beliefs will probably be different when you’re 41.
- Be brave in relationships. Love and let others love you. Be frank, open and honest. Don’t fool yourself that you have to wait for the perfect partner, but be patient for the right one. Gracefully part ways when you realize you don’t have the right one.
- Be bold in your career or work choice. Do what you love and what you’re good at – as long as it can keep a roof over your head, food in your cupboards, and a zero balance on your bills. But be ready to be a re-do’er. It’s never too late to start a new career.
- Be a serial “starter”. Try something new. Over and over. Leave some things unfinished. You’ll find the “finishable” things!
- Be excited. For anything!!!!!!!!
- Be scared. Admitting your fear and then dealing with it is the only way to develop your “be”.
- Be kind to your body. Eat well and eat good. Imbibe in guilty pleasures in moderation. Stay active. Please do not nip, tuck, peel or quick-fix anything. Steer clear of the word “diet”.
- Be ready to grow old. Sorry, there is no way you will stay young. You don’t want to. The aging process is beautiful. Don’t fight it. Also see “Be kind to your body” above.
- Be in love with your life. If you don’t love something, check your expectations or seek ways to make changes.
- Be greater than the sum of your choices. Mistakes and strange choices are bound to happen. Don’t regret the choice you make now. If it’s a good one, bravo! If it’s a questionable one, learn and move onward.
- Be present in the moment. Put down the mobile device. Look up to the sky, take a deep breath, listen to the sounds, smell the scents, see the sights. Strike up a conversation (in person).
- Be a close friend to someone older than 70. The internet and history books will only give you a snippet of history. Seek out someone who can teach you history with wildly funny and sad personal stories, and critical life lessons. Also see “Be ready to grow old” above.
- Be in the kitchen. Please learn to cook. Ask a relative. Or the nice lady down the street. Or check out the advice from some of my favorites.
- Be aware of the world. Make sure you get a healthy serving of news and history with that pop culture feast.
- Be somewhere other than your own city or country, once in a while. Travel. Explore new places. Make sure you visit a national park, an historical feature, a great tavern, and a fabulous restaurant. Follow a few good travel blogs. Choose the lesser-known path. Even if it is only the next town over instead of a world away.
- Be a learner. Constantly. Education and learning doesn’t stop after college. Frankly, it doesn’t stop until the day you die.
So, Ms. 23, enjoy the advice. Be brave, courageous, and daring. Be whatever you want to be. Be you, even as the “you” changes. You’ll make a beautiful Ms. 41.
About Kristin Reed
Lover of life and craft beer. Slightly obsessed with food. Very obsessed with dessert. Dreamer. Survivor. Wife. Mom. Professional something-or-other. Random trivia fool. Serial blog starter. Occasional blog writer. Southern California.
Eat. Explore. Dream. Ask. Listen. Learn. Find the random wonders. Repeat.
Find more about Kristin on Twitter and her two blogs, Curiosity Stretches Imagination and Krimarie In the Kitchen.
