Since I have such a fondness of contemplating life (every. damn. corner. of. it.), it shouldn’t surprise anyone that in these last final moments before Eggroll makes her appearance, I am thinking about my current place in time.
I’m 33 years old. That’s not old, but it sure isn’t 22.
I have a mortgage (actually 3…), a husband, and a dog with hip problems. My to-do list has things like “meet with lawyer about will”, “freeze casseroles”, and “take car for routine tune-up” on it now. How… pedestrian.
I can still hope and dream with the best of ‘em, but what happened to the Thursday nights out dancing, the horribly administrative jobs where we spent more time emailing each other than working, or “The List” that roommate Nicki and I kept about our awkward first dates? It was a time when I was too cheap to pay $2 to check my coat at a bar, but I had enough pairs of black pants and fun tops to be ready for a night out at a moment’s notice.
I have no black pants now unless you count those in the yoga category. (But then again, today I barely have any pants short of the exercise version…)
I remember two Super Bowls ago when there was this car commercial featuring Fun.’s “We Are Young” song while three dudes and a car jumped out of a plane. That was the first time it hit me – the songs about being young and wild and free were no longer aimed at me.
I am now at a place in my life where I’m supposed to be responsible, have health insurance, and think that only idiots would jump out of a plane vs. consider that a fun way to spend a Saturday. Sure, there are a lot of people my age that are still flitting around in life, but I do stop every time I hear 29-year-old Avril Lavigne’s “Here’s to Never Growing Up”, I think “honey – you’ve been married. Your friends probably have to get up for work tomorrow morning. You are simply too old to be dancing on bars. And frankly…if you don’t start the party ‘til 10:30, I ain’t coming.”
Anyway, what does this have to do with a Yoga Off the Mat lesson?
This week, I want you to think back to your 22-year-old (or 14 or 40…) version of yourself. How was that person living life? I don’t believe in regrets, but is there anything you wish the younger you paid more attention to?
Consider that person’s life goals. Are you on the same path? Would the younger you recognize today’s you? Would s/he be proud of you?
Yoga is all about observation, not judgment. So if you find something about olden day or modern day you that doesn’t leave you warm and fuzzy, don’t beat yourself up. Instead, figure out a way to improve the situation.
- Could you pick up some paints and canvas on your way home from the desk job this afternoon now that you’re reminded of the artist you hoped to become?
- Could you call your college roommate and apologize for that time you left her on the bathroom floor because you drank too much the night you celebrated HER birthday? (P.S. A, I love you!! No, I love you!!)
- Could you smile big and freely because you realize that modern-day you is living a life that the younger you could not have dreamed of?
By completing this exercise, I realize that I’ve had a pretty fantastic existence. Though all those Match.com dates proved to be worthless, they did leave me with some great stories. I’ve learned something from every job I’ve had, even the dumb ones. And while I might be feeling a bit trapped by the new part of my life about to begin, I wouldn’t trade it for all the late nights out getting sloshed on cheap beer, Lean Cuisines, and dreams of the future of my twenties.
Life is good, even if it’s coming at us a lot faster than expected.
Namaste.
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