Sisterhood of the Polyester Pants

Do you see these pants? (No, you can’t see these pants…I refuse to post a picture for reasons that will become evident in a moment.)

I have worn these pants at least once a week on average for the last 10 years. Yes, 10 years. That means roughly 500 wearings. I do believe I got my money’s worth out of ’em. Or rather my mom did. The pants are part of one of the suits that was purchased at the Charleston Place mall as a graduation present. They were properly hemmed and the only “dry clean only” item to stay in my repertoire for this long. There is a little snag on one thigh where I keep trimming the extra thread (how is there any thread left?!). The lining never sits properly so the pants often look wrinkled.

But they are comfortable. They match everything. They are the proper length for the flats that I have worn almost as often. (Though I did have to buy another pair of the same shoes during this time frame…)

These pants traveled to conferences. They networked at local meetings. I don’t think they ever sat in on an interview, but they definitely were at annual reviews. They have witnessed hot weather where their two layers proved to be too much and cold winds where the lining turned to ice. I probably was wearing them the morning my parents left for Texas. I can almost guarantee I was in them the day P and I broke up over the phone. I think I might have been wearing them when Randy and I did the financial math and made our next big decision.

When I change out of these pants tonight, I would like to unceremoniously burn them. I won’t, but only because the smoke would be caustic. I can promise you that I will never put them on again. Even if I am forced back to the traditional work world, I will let these pants go. It’s time. I’m ready to move on.

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