FAQ About The Eggroll

I’ve had 15 weeks to come to terms with the fact that I’m pregnant. Since you are new on the scene, here are some questions that may help get you up to speed.

Who or what is the Eggroll?

Eggroll is the temporary name we have given the baby until he makes her presence known. I am too superstitious to put out the real names we are already considering out there, but the only thing that bugs me more than people who do this is calling a fetus “it”. “It” sounds like a creature, not a future human being. Hopefully Eggroll will look like the rest of us, not a lizard with a top hat and a cane.

I’m not sure why Eggroll and not Banana or Chipmunk or Grill Cover, but it fits. Eggrolls are tasty, cozy and always make me happy. And let me be the first to apologize to 16-year-old Eggroll when he can not escape what has become her permanent nickname. Trust me Future Eggroll, nicknames build character. Just ask your mom about Toonie.

(Edited additional question) When is your due date?

Eggroll is scheduled to make his appearance on February 11, 2014. I have a feeling that she will be late, which could be the coolest Valentine’s Day present since my chocolate “I Heart You”.

Will you find out the gender of the baby?

Have we met? In case not, I am a Class A Over Planner with every fiber of my being. For as much as I’d like it to be a surprise, I need to know these things. And hey, it’ll still be a surprise what he or she looks like, right? To know if she’s left- or right-handed. To see if she prefers dance lessons or soccer practice… Best I can tell, I’ve got the rest of my life to be surprised by this child.

(Until then (then being the end of September), I will be using both male and female pronouns. Please don’t read too much into it. I’ll probably let you know within hours of me knowing.)

But Maggie, you don’t like kids.

I know. I don’t. There, it’s out there. They are loud and messy and need attention all the time. (I know no one like this… particularly no one who writes for this blog…)

But I am so super excited about this little guy or girl. I have since gotten over this feeling, but I had a good two weeks were I was ready to throw away all career goals for a few years and focus 100% on the little bugger. I have since come to my senses and realized that this is not fiscally nor psychologically responsible, but I am stoked to be a mom.

Let’s just hope all of this “it’s different when it’s your own” mumbo jumbo really is true.

Is this website going to become a mommy blog?

Ladies and gents, I am going to do my damnedest NOT to talk about poop here or in live conversations. I have learned not to judge other parents, but it boggles my mind how much they discuss baby poop. How can there possibly be that much to talk about?!

So on day three of parenthood when I post “30 Things About the Back End of Eggroll”, y’all can feel free to laugh.

In the meantime, I’m going to continue to use this blog as a place to talk about what’s on my mind. That probably is going to mean a lot of baby talk, but you know I can’t go that long without talking about chocolate cake or life goals.

And let me also say this… I know I am a oversharer. I have yet to decide how this will affect Eggroll (Will I share his name? Will I post pictures that include her face?), but you will continue to get TMI about my part of this ride. If that’s not your thing, you may want to jump ship now.

What a difference six weeks makes! Or, er…not.

So are you going to quit doing grown-up things like travel, going out to eat, and making new career plans?

I’m sure going to try not to! I’ve only read one parenting book so far, which told me exactly what  I want to hear… Though your life will change, kids don’t have to rule all facets of your life. Here’s hoping I can put these theories into practice and still enjoy a quiet glass of wine in a decent restaurant every now and then.

What has the pregnancy been like so far?

The Eggroll has attended his first wedding reception and live concert. She’s participated in a quarter marathon, two 5k races, and numerous yoga classes and helped teach pilates around Milwaukee. She assisted with one wedding, one state fair eating frenzy, and one bout of stomach bug.

I have felt pretty good over all. There were a few days where I felt slightly nauseous, but food and I can never part ways for too long. Now the exhaustion on the other hand… Hot dog, have I been tired. I’m sure this has nothing to do with the fact that we moved and totally remodeled a home since Eggroll has been around, she says sarcastically.

In week 8, I had my first full-on crying fit/panic attack/fit of rage in the middle of the night in a strange house filled with other people who were trying to sleep. Randy was a sport, a HUGE sport, but good golly, I hope that doesn’t happen more often. Well, too much more often. There has since been two more evenings where Randy has come home from work to find me in a ball on the bed crying for no apparent reason. Hi hormones… y’all can go jump off a cliff…

Babycenter.com has told me that Eggroll has moved up through the produce section and is currently the size of an apple – 4 inches from crown to rump (my favorite pregnancy phrase) and about 2 oz.

My belly is finally starting to grow beyond the normal cover of Enchiladas and Chocolate Shakes of Days Past. Speaking of which…

Maggie, you once told me you thought the science of pregnancy was gross. Is that still the case?

Kind of, but it’s also kind of fascinating. Case in point – my belly is growing, but not symmetrically. One day I grew a little bit towards 10 o’clock. The next day I was bigger on the 2 o’clock side. I showed Randy and he called me “oblong”. Not his shiniest moment, but it made me laugh.

Anyway, I’m not excited about what goes down during the actual child-birth (is anyone?) and breast-feeding still seems kind of icky. That said, I’m along for the ride.

What has been your favorite part of the process so far?

Greeting Card from Steel Petal Press

At week 10, we got to hear the heartbeat at our first appointment. I started crying. Randy started crying. The doctor even teared up. This was all great and emotional and stuff, but when I cried, I shook, so the heartbeat wasn’t audible anymore. So I stopped crying and just smiled. Big, big, big smiles.

Oh, and I’m digging the ability to dress to showcase my belly vs. hiding that part of my body. The part of me that I normally dislike the most is now the part I want to show off as much as I can. Woo! Bring on the skinny jeans and tunics!

What haven’t you liked about being pregnant?

Well, I didn’t know I liked margaritas that much until I had to tell myself that I couldn’t have them anymore. And of course there is the ever-present “OMG, what did we do?” worries about this kid’s (and our!) future. But specifically, I would say I don’t like the sleep patterns that have come with being pregnant.

I wake up somewhere around 12:30 to go to the bathroom. I don’t have too much trouble falling asleep at that point (yet), but when I wake up around 4am, I really struggle. Every little noise, every itch on my leg, every uncomfortable temperature conspires to keep me from dreamland. Which is probably nice of them seeing as the 5 o’clock hour brings in bad dreams that always seem to revolve around a new way to lose my parents. Last night all of their belongings were stolen from me. In previous nights, I’ve witnessed motorcycle accidents and falls down the stairs I never saw and cancers and dementia that never happened. Fun times. I guess you can see where my subconscious’ struggles.

What has surprised you the most along the way?

Pardon my language, but this is a big f-ing deal. To me. To me and to Randy. But to the doctor and her office, “meh”. In our first appointment, she told me that she delivers something like 85 babies a year. (A month? That seems too much, but 85/year seems to low.) I found out I was pregnant at week 5, but had to wait until week 10 to see the doctor. Do you know how many questions Dr. Google answered before then?! And then in my second appointment, when I got to hear the heartbeat again, the doctor was talking. SHH!! This is a Big Moment for Me. But, alas, it’s all in the day’s work on the other end of that machine.

I can work around this though. Randy and I have already decided that when we have the ultrasound appointment, we’re going to ask the tech to write down the gender so we can take that paper home and have that moment uninterrupted. So no calling us on the evening of September 23!

Come on. We know you’re just dying to pontificate about being pregnant. Lay it on us, lady.

I have already written a bunch of posts along the way that may or may not actually make their way to the blog. This has been such an emotional roller-coaster ride so far and will only get crazier, I know. But I am so happy.

I am so much in love with my husband. I can’t wait to see him as a dad. I can’t wait to see Noah lay his big fuzzy head next to little Eggroll head while they nap together. I can’t wait to hold this baby in my arms and kiss his skinned knees. To daydream about her future. To cry at her high school graduation. To dance with him at his wedding. What a gift I am about to receive… Wow.


  1. You will be amazing, there are no words to describe being a mom, although I am sure you will try:) life will drastically change, but it will not matter too much because you will forget what life was like before a baby, it will seem as if she was always there. So happy for you, welcome to the rough and tumble, peaceful and joy filled life of motherhood.

  2. Congratulations Maggie! So happy for you!

  3. You are going to be an awesome mom and yes everything is completely different when it’s yours. And you will likely want to write about baby stuff, and that is ok. All of those things you didn’t understand about other parents will suddenly make sense. You will be them. And that’s ok too. Your life is going to change in the most fabulous way ever. To this day I question why on Earth I ever questioned having a baby. There was never any doubt, being a mom is the best job ever and your child will open your eyes to what your purpose in life truly is. Yes, it’s hard work…but it’s so worth it. Much love to you both. I’m still giddy with excitement for you.

  4. Michelle Taylor

    Im so happy for you Mags. And you will probably write about poop and little things he/she does but thats ok parents understand. You will still get to vacation and go out to eat, BUT it wont be as often and you will appreciate it soooo much more. Still make time for just the two of you and trust me the time will fly when your babyless it will feel great and you ll be so happy to come home too. But kids show you how an innocent person looks and discovers the world and its so cool and you really learn to appreciate life. They are hard work. Especially when you just get home but once you get the hang of it, you and randy will be even stronger as a team and enjoy the ride. 🙂 love ya you will do great


    so, so happy for you and Randy. <3

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