I was all set to take another pass at last week’s post’s topic, hopefully a little more eloquently and with a clearer point, but I just got a little sidetracked (again).
There are two women in my circles, albeit the far-off, mostly just on Facebook circles, who are facing cancer. One is my age with a little girl. The other is a bit older, with a successful small business and a teenage son that needs extra attention. One’s outlook is positive. The other, not so much.
Unfortunately, this is not breaking news. Your feed probably holds the same news from similar outlying friends. What does surprise me is how funny and dare I say it, happy??, these women are choosing to be even when faced with some serious, serious crap. Granted, these are just status updates and not the thoughts that are keeping them up in the middle of the night, but I have laughed out loud more often than I’ve found tears in my eyes when I check in on them.
Why am I bringing this up now, in association with how I want to parent Eggroll? Because they are doing it there way. I am doing this my way. You should do it your way.
“It” might mean parenting a child, running a business, picking a hairstyle, a nail polish color, or what’s for dinner. Maybe “it” is how to handle a layoff, a car wreck, or a $20 bill found in your winter coat pocket left over from last year.
We are all going to have opinions on how you handle each and every choice life throws out you. Hell, we might even talk about your decisions behind your back. But you know what? It doesn’t matter. You’ve got to do it your way.
I don’t understand the women that risk their own health to become a mother of a child with their genetic code. There are plenty of adoptable children out there. But it doesn’t matter.
You don’t understand how I could want (need??) to have time away from Eggroll if I don’t have to leave her otherwise. But it doesn’t matter.
You may not know why you choose to be a mother. Or you do know but think it wasn’t for the best reasons. As long as you are raising a child to be an upstanding citizen, it doesn’t matter.
You may choose never to have children. Never to marry. Never to buy a house or a car or a matching set of luggage. It doesn’t matter.
I may not have shifted my priorities as much as other mothers, but as long as Eggroll is loved, knows basic table manners, and feels ready to take on the world, then it doesn’t matter.
My apologies to anyone I offended last week. I was wrong to put out statements, implied or explicit, judging other women for how they parent. One of the ladies who disagreed with me reminded me that there are many different kinds of mothers out there, just like there are many different personalities that are tackling cancer diagnosis or other much more difficult life challenges. As long as we are somehow moving forward, anyone who gets through the day with what they are handed is taking the right course of action in my book. I shall try to remind myself of this daily. Can you try the same?
Best of luck to you in getting through whatever this Thursday brings you.
