2015 was a year. Not a good year. Probably not my worst year. But a year I am glad to put behind me.
It started with a job that I thought was my fast track back to Professional Barbie, where I went from “holy cats, I get to travel for work again!” to “thank you Maggie, but the ad agency can take it from here” in a heartbeat. (With a side of “I don’t think they like what I’m doing, but where’s the bloody feedback?!” for good measure.)
This slowly morphed into “yah, I’m pregnant” to “hmm, that doesn’t seem right” to “damn” pretty darn quick.
Then I had to put my dog down after he pretty much walked (scooted) up to me and said “mama, I’m done”.
The rest of summer and early fall was pretty cool working on my other professional project. That was until she told me she wanted a full-time person instead of me.
The worst part about all this is that I couldn’t really talk about any of it. Part pride, part socially-accepted decorum, I couldn’t get pissy in (electronic) print as we’ve all figured out is my preferred outlet for getting over a thing. Commence Project Taking Forever To Get Over Things.
Thanks to the bestest, most patient husband on the face of the planet, a new dog that only eats Eggroll’s toys 75% of the time, a new baby that’s growing like Reneesme, a realization that I can take sweet food photos so I could probably do something with that, and a toddler who only has two or three major tantrums per day, I finally see the end to this shitstorm tunnel.
With a flip of the calendar into the new year, I am ready (and need to) write again. I spent the whole year with people telling me “that’s not the right voice”. It wasn’t. It was my voice, trying desperately to get out, even if no one wanted to hear it at the time.
2015 didn’t have a strategic plan. It only had three words. I blame that for part of my floundering. In an effort to right the ship next year, I’m planning the heck out of 2016. As part of this planning, I’m doing an online workshop this week to help focus my passion (blah, blah, blah). In one of last night’s sessions, they asked “what do you want to be doing when you’re 80?” My answer: living in Kaysersburg, France where I nibble on baguettes while I write and make delicious dinners for Randy when he gets home from his old man putzing each night.
I’ve got a computer, three loaves worth of this dough in the fridge, and a plan for black bean and corn quesadillas before Randy leaves for a concert this evening. I guess I’m not that far off from perfection after all, huh?
Now if only I could get paid to be a hermit who pontificates and plays with food. Then I’d make money like the rest of you folks and feel like a contributing member to society. Ah, someday…
I’m still a little cautious about pictures of Eggroll (and soon-to-be CR) on the internet, so I’ll work on creative photography skills to share an accurate representation of my life (75% daydreaming, 25% yogurt-covered toddler).
In the meantime, as a thank you for your patience and your continued support, here’s a recipe for Homemade Oreos I posted on my professional site last week. I can’t get enough of these cookies. In case you missed it there, read it here and make them RIGHT NOW.
Even if we don’t know where we are headed, we can at least enjoy the cookies.